Ah, ASUC elections … how we will be so happy miss thee when the week ends! We know everyone is always pushing for democracy and fair elections and informed voters – but we say, why vote on the issues when you can vote high school yearbook style? So here are the Clog’s ASUC superlatives. It’s not about who we think we should win, it’s about who has the best singing voice! You mean ASUC elections don’t work like the show the Voice?

connor landgrafBiggest flirt: Connor Landgraf (candidate for President with Student Action)

We all know that frat guy stereotype, and apparently the girls are swooning (although some disagree on that regard). Every politician flirts with the masses, but we’d say Mr. Landgraf seems like the type to be a heartbreaker. I mean, he didn’t invite US to the date party. Our only advice is, tuck in that shirt boy, and keep it classy.

elliot goldsteinBest hair: Elliot Goldstein (candidate for President/Chancellor with the Cooperative Movement Party) with honorable mention to Honest Chung (candidate for President with Students for a Democratic University [SDU])

Best hair was a difficult choice, but when it comes down to it, Elliot Goldstein has got it going on – in the hair department, excuse us. Look at that facial hair! It is an art. But we have to mention those sexy green highlights that Mr. Chung reps. We’ll be the democratic university to that student. *wink*

isabel sausjordMost likely to win a Nobel Peace Prize or join the Peace Corps: Isabel Sausjord (candidate for EAVP with SDU)

We all know Berkeley alums go on to do great things – y’know, win Nobel prizes and such. This girl, only a Freshman, has such a passion for justice, it’s hard not to imagine her doing something with it – whether it be working for the UN or volunteering in third-world countries.

naomi wilsonBest smileNaomi Wilson (candidate for AAVP with CalSERVE)

It’s difficult to rock braces, but if anyone can, it’s Ms. Wilson. No doubt this girl can beam behind those wires, we barely even noticed they were there. Her smile tells us she’s got it and can flaunt it. The Clog has gone through the trials of orthodontia, and Ms. Wilson’s flawless smile is a beacon of hope to all in a similar position.

woodrow currieMost retroWoodrow Curie (candidate for AAVP with SQUELCH!)

Woodrow Curie likes to go by “Dr. Emmett Brown” and is stuck in some strange delusion he is part of the Back to the Future movie series. Since there’s no category for psychological issues, we think he definitely takes the cake for his retro style and deep concern with messing up the space-time continuum. If only Bif was running, then it would be a more contentious race.

natalie gavelloBest eyes: Natalie Gavello (candidate for AAVP with Student Action)

The eyes are the window to the soul – as someone said once, and it stuck. And damn, that’s a pretty nice view. Ms. Gavello’s eyes remind us of the ocean … in the Carribean … sun-licked and refreshing … vibrant with sea life … we’ll stop before it gets too weird.

jeremy palmerMost likely to be a good dad: Jeremy Palmer (candidate for EVP with Defend Affirmative Action Party [DAAP])

We would not want to cross Jeremy Palmer. He seems like he means business. We can certainly imagine him being the kind of father who isn’t afraid to keep his kids in line. Coddling encourages weakness. However, we’re sure that underneath that intense demeanor is the dad that would buy you ice cream if you got an A on a test.

justin sayarathEveryone’s Best FriendJustin Sayarath (candidate for EVP with Student Action)

Or acquaintance. Seriously, how many different groups is that boy a part of (not to mention a big part)? Caliber, ATO, ASUC Senate … We wonder how he is able to sleep.

alisha johnsonBest dressedAlisha Johnson (candidate for EAVP with DAAP)

Alisha looked stunning at the forum, sporting a cream knit piece and stunning turquoise dangling earrings. That girl knows how to keep it classy, feminine and political. Cough, tuck in that shirt, Connor.

james changMost likely to be a game show host: James Chang (candidate for EVP with SDU)

Something about the way he talks makes us feel like we should be on jeopardy. He definitely has the enunciation and presence to host on television – something to consider should elections not pan out.

erik krasner-karpenMost likely to win the Grammy’sErik Krasner (candidate for EVP with SQUELCH!)

We’ll let his performance speak for itself.

Regardless of your political views or fashion sense – make sure to get out and vote. Today is the last day!

Image sources: Derek Remsburg, Daily Cal



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