Our final installment in the Clog’s three part series on our Berkeley City Council members and their positions on the sit-lie measure (and our final irrelevant Star Wars photo for your viewing pleasure):

Gordon Wozniak, District 8 = A Less Handsome Donald Sutherland


I love musical theater!

Donald Sutherland

Me too!

Donald Sutherland enjoys playing patriarchs of powerful families, whether it’s Patrick Darling from “Dirty Sexy Money” or President Snow from The Hunger Games (less of a family and more of a dystopia. But then again, powerful families can be like that too). Yay capitalism! And being an actor, we’re gonna assume he enjoys his musical theater.

Gordon Wozniak holds many of the same interests, although he’s much less handsome than the two-time Golden Globe winner. On Tuesday night Wozniak, like the statue-esque Laurie Capitelli, held much the same expression on his face throughout the night, giving off an I’m-pretending-to-be-interested-but-I’m-not-really-here aura with a Luna Lovegood glaze over his eyes.

The one time he broke out into a smile was when a young woman named Talia brought her guitar to the mic and sang a “No on sit-lie” song. Wozniak was the only one to bob his held along and smile bemusedly. We appreciate his genuine interest in street artists.

When it comes to sit-lie though, Wozniak was quoted by KTVU as saying, “I support it from the standpoint that our Berkeley businesses are suffering.” Yay capitalism. He also noted later during the meeting, as the crowd and council grew raucous, that “We don’t just have a problem on the streets, we also have a problem in this council.” Indeed, Mr. Wozniak. Just please don’t create a Hunger Games to alleviate the situation.

His position: Pro sit-lie

Likelihood of changing his mind: Very little. Unless perhaps Talia brought back a number of her friends and they performed a two-act musical on sit-lie — it might make him happy enough to sway him. But then business owners would get to him again (or counter-act with a musical of their own, which we certainly would like to see).

What he wants: To see Berkeley businesses not suffer anymore. And to one day summon the courage to motion for the council to break out into a musical number. Now who’s gonna second that?

Linda Maio, District 1 = Martha Stewart

I could use some more caffeine

I could use some more caffeine

Sweetheart, too much caffeine isn't good for you

Sweetheart, too much caffeine ain't good for you

Linda Maio just wants to help the homeless. At least, that’s what she wants us to believe she wants. She’s also the most PC member on the council, cautiously stating only that which is extremely obvious.

Berkeleyside quoted her as saying, “We put lots of money into services. We’ve tried so many ways to get peoople into those services. In small ways we still fail. I don’t think you can deny there are some elements downtown and on Telegraph that do cause problems.”

Nope, no one is denying any of the plain facts you’re stating there. She also noted towards the end of the meeting that, “There are no easy answers.” Well that’s true of almost ANY problem we have here in Berkeley. What are you really saying, Maio? Do you have an opinion on anything, or are you just going to reel off facts?

Her position: For sit-lie

Likelihood of changing her mind: Probably unlikely. But one can’t be entirely sure — she doesn’t express too much true opinion on this matter.

What she wants: To help the homeless get into services. And lots and lots of caffeine — at the end of the meeting, Maio had two soda cans and a pot of coffee lying in front of her.

Jesse Arreguin, District 4 = The Doodler

What you be doin' there Jesse?

What you be doin' there Jesse?

Jack Black

He be doin' like me

Jesse Arreguin in no way, shape or form resembles Jack Black either looks-wise or personality-wise. The reason we chose Black is because he is very well known for being a doodler — he’s quite good at it too.

Arreguin for one, mysteriously disappeared from the meeting for a good 45 minutes. When he came back, he spent the rest of the time furiously scribbling on his notepad/papers before finally piping up at the end to give his dissenting opinion on sit-lie. He looked up from his writings only a few times. Maybe he was writing out his final speech against the measure or maybe he was busying himself with actual work.

But let’s be honest here — since when does it take Arreguin that long to write out a speech? And what city council member is really engrossed in work when Talia is whipping the room into a dance hall frenzy? We suspect that Arreguin is an excellent doodler — what else could you possibly be doing for a good two hours on that all-consuming legal pad of yours?

His position: Anti sit-lie

Likelihood of changing his mind: None. The Three Musketeers — Arreguin, Anderson and Worthington — are the homeless populations’ heroes when it comes to this measure. Will anyone else move to join the trio, though?

What he wants: Let’s play “What are our council men thinking?” Jesse Arreguin: “Just leave me alone! All I wanna do is draw!”

And that’s all nine of them folks. We’ll keep you updated as the summer rolls along on any developments concerning the measure, and whether or not any gavel duels or musical numbers erupt amongst the council members. Stay tuned.

Image source: (from the top)

1. Chris Devers under Creative Commons

2. Lynn Yu, Daily Cal

3. IMDb, Courtesy

4. Lynn Yu, Daily Cal

5. PreserveNation, Courtesy

6. Lynn Yu, Daily Cal

7. id-iom under Creative Commons

BerkeleyCitizen said:
Jun 22, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Speaking of powerful families, can you use your investigatory prowess to find out if Wozniak is related to the Apple Wozniak?

Also, you so hit the nail on the head with Maio and her fear of taking un un-PC position–that’s because she wants that all too important SEIU enndorsement.