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How To: Not Be a **** During Exam Week

Posted By Rachel X. Sutton On Oct 4, 2012 @ 2:39 pm In Sandbox | Comments Disabled

[1] Yes, we all know exam time is full of stress, and for a lot of us that can translate to a bad mood, procrastination, or less-than-ideal habits… but you don’t need to spread that crap around for the rest of us. Here are some ways of struggling through exam week while still saving face — for everyone’s sake!

1. Don’t ask people at the library to watch your stuff “for a second,” and then leave for 3 hours.
No, really, our sphincter muscles are already those of a 90-year-old’s from drinking four cups of Peet’s this morning. We need to pee, so don’t blame us if we take advantage of that precious – but conveniently empty – Nalgene bottle you’ve left us to supervise.

2. Don’t take “study aids” and then proceed to make a huge racket in Main Stacks because you didn’t realize you would be yakked out of your mind.
Last year in Main Stacks we sat next to a girl in a cubicle who had obviously taken a… choice pharmaceutical… and spent several hours throwing books all over the place, scribbling like a maniac, and shaking. Yikes.

3. If you’re going to procrastinate, be our guest – but don’t throw a rager outside the night before our 8 a.m. midterm.
The only reason we know the words to Super Bass is because of the volume our neighbors play their music at, which is typically around 3 a.m. on weeknights – and they live on an entirely different street than we do. Now, we don’t pass judgment on any of you who wait until the night before a midterm to open your textbook, but we do hope your activities of days preceding don’t necessitate our coming to your door to clock you in the head with it. These activities definitely include blasting Nicki Minaj out your window.

4. Don’t be a cheat.3131-nothing-to-do-here meme
Seriously, we’re all working hard, so don’t try to play games with the grading curve. It’s our curve, too!
Our roommates once told us a story about a pre-med student who was very nervous about pushing the class final’s curve to his advantage, and took things a little too far. The class was assigned an in-class anatomy identification test, and apparently this fellow decided to take one of the marker pins out of the cadaver’s muscles to throw off the other students. Considering all other students ended up writing down the same (wrong) answer but him, he was relatively easy to find and confront. Apparently he walked right out of the room without finishing his final, in a manner similar to that of the gentleman in the illustration opposite this paragraph.

Good luck with your kind and courteous midterm season, and remember:

“It takes a lot of things to prove you are smart, but only one thing to prove you are ignorant.”

- Don Herold

R.S. [2]

Image credit, user premutos [3] (original creator) and Peter Cottle [1] under Creative Commons.

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URL to article: http://clog.dailycal.org/2012/10/04/how-to-not-be-a-during-exam-week/

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[1] Image: http://www.flickr.com/photos/petercottle/6820075199/

[2] R.S.: https://twitter.com/RachelXSutton

[3] premutos: http://www.cuantocabron.com/usuarios/premutos

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