After enduring a torturous first day of class including on-the-spot lab cancellations and two hours of awkwardWelcome Week, The Calm Before The Storm introductions most of us likely wish that we could relive the relative peace and freedom of last week. Though most of us may have been lounging about away from Berkeley, many others namely spring admits were partying it up with all the Welcome Week goings-on. In case your flight was delayed by a matter of days, allow us to catch you up on everything that went down.

In the event that you’ve made use of a dorm restroom and taken a number two anytime last semester, you’ve probably seen one of the health tips that our awesome health workers have been putting together. Their peers at the Tang Center put on a presentation about staying healthy, something that a lot of us have yet to learn.

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We feel kind of bad for finding this amusing. Except not really. Uh, go Bears?

Cal Band is Brutal [YouTube], via California Golden Blogs

Sunday Shout-Out picks out the week’s stories that simply slipped our minds.

* While you were out drunk at 12:30 p.m. yesterday, fashionistas were totally judging your look. [BARE]

* If you weren’t among the thousands at Memorial Stadium or in the rabble of Tightwad Hill, you can catch up on Cal Band’s halftime show. Oh, nostalgia. [YouTube]

* Help the little bear out. This looks like a future Clog photo. [Photo Blog]

* Scared for finals? Maybe you should’ve just gone elsewhere and paid for your A’s. [Paper Trail]

Image Source: Daily Cal
Earlier: The Same Old, Same Old

Remember high school? Remember the hellish time you spent taking standardized tests? So do we. Remember middle school? Remember how awkward and horrible it was, even without the extra pain in the ass that is the College Board? Apparently, no one at Berkeley Unified School District does. [Daily Cal]

It’s hard out here for a kid. We’re all in favor of non-obese children, but sometimes a kid’s got to do what a kid’s got to do. If fourth graders out there gotta sell sugar to make a buck for a field trip, then that’s just the way things go. You hear us, California Legislature? No one should be subjected to vegan carrot cake against their will, damn it! No one! [Chron]

The economic crisis hit the Cal band hard. For the first time in years, they’ve had to miss away games due to lack of moolah. This is sad. Are they at least still allowed to sell unhealthy food? Or are college kids also too young to decide when they can afford to splurge and eat themselves a donut? [Daily Cal]

Earlier: UC Berkeley Staff Joy, Woes and No-No’s

There was once a time when the social stigma of Joe/Jane Schmo in the school marching band hovered somewhere between “geek,” “nerd” and “still ain’t gettin’ any.” Of course, this is also the kid that will go on to become the drummer of the biggest Emo rock band in the Midwest, but that’s beside the point.

We’ve also heard of “sexually active band geeks,” a concept which we suppose was fabricated and then left up to interpretation. And interpret, they did–UC Davis bandsmen are reported to have driven their new band director to the point of filing a sexual harassment complaint with the university. Here’s a condensed list of their raunchiness: read more »

Yep, it’s that special time of year that’s like every other special time of year—Homecoming is back! (Though we could have gone with midterm season.) Berkeley has a Homecoming you can take pride in: Unlike other campus festivities like Caltopia, you can get lots of free things during Homecoming.

And unlike Cal Day, there will be tons of lectures by Berkeley professors that will make even the most balanced jack of all trades feel inadequate. And unlike the Big Game, read more »

Cal Band’s getting some virtual ass with this vid of video game songs. We heard it was No. 2 on Digg’s top ten for all topics, and it’s currently No. 4 on the front page of College Humor. When you search Cal Band on YouTube, it is now the top result. The video boasts well over 100,000 views and it’s been favorited almost 3,000 times.

Can we get a “Cal Band great”?

Thanks to Gordon Chien for the tip.

Cal Band – Video Game Show [YouTubeM]

Actually, she toots a clarinet–and 47-year-old Cal student Cynthia Erb doesn’t need to boast about being the oldest recent member of our awesome band. Today, the Contra Costa Times featured this former investment banker’s story, which should be an inspiration to all the broke Haas students out there who may want to actually chase their dreams instead of chasing paper.

Currently a student of the department of architecture here at Berkeley, Erb decided to go back to school after a career in banking because she wanted to “indulge her long-term interest in design.” With dream No. 1 well on its way to fulfillment, playing clarinet for the Cal Band was the second dream she was to act upon, even though she is more than 20 years older than her band mates.

We should note that in addition to playing in the Cal Band and being a student in one of the most overworked departments at Berkeley, Cynthia Erb is a wife, has three children and lives almost 20 miles away from campus. Compare that to those of us young’uns who can hardly manage to walk to Shattuck Avenue from campus–or those who would rather not try to balance a job, extracurriculars and midterms with Facebook-time and partying.

Can we get a “You go, girl?”

Image Source: Ian Buchanan, Daily Cal
47-year-old Retired Banker Follows Dream with Cal Band [Contra Costa Times]

In addition to spotting posters around Memorial Stadium, we also pricked our ears for the Cal Band practicing on Maxwell Family Field late this afternoon.From our attic room, we heard blasts of horns, 1980s style. Who knows? The marching band may play some (or even all) of the following songs for Saturday’s football game:* “Tainted Love” by Soft Cell,* “99 Luftballoons” by Nena,* “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” By Wham!* and even “Stars and Stripes Forever” by John Philip SousaOK, so the last one isn’t from the ’80s, let alone the 1900s. But we swear we heard it!Image Source: Deng-Kai Chen, Daily Cal