Berkeley, Berkeley, Berkeley!Sunday Shout-Out picks out the week’s stories that simply slipped our minds.

*The Daily Cal has finally jumped on the Twitter bandwagon. Incidentally, it’s the same bandwagon on which the Clog has been chillin’ for, like, ages.  No biggie. [Twitter]

*ASUC Lesson of the Week: You are, in fact, responsible for e-mails that you send. Whodathunkit? [Daily Cal]

*One more fairly infuriating/mildly hilarious thing about the ASUC.  But that’s it, we swear. [Notes from the Field]

*Students cook up food co-op plan as an alternative to the Panda. Maybe they should have a wok-off.  Or maybe we’ll just have to wait and see how things pan out. (Eh? Ehh?) [Daily Cal]

Image Source: Eddie Rosenbaum, Daily Cal
Earlier: End of the Week Closes on a Sad Note

So apparently we celebrate Constitution Day here at UC Berkeley. Perhaps you’re aware because Chancellor Birgeneau sent an e-mail about it. It began:

On September 17th, Cal will celebrate Constitution Day-the anniversary of the signing of our country’s founding document. Federal law requires all schools who receive federal funding to hold an educational program annually on this day.

We sort of wished the e-mail continued like this:

Well, it took a few wine coolers, but screw it. I suppose I’ll be candid with you guys. Hell, it doesn’t matter. You all instantly delete my e-mails anyway. What I meant to say in the first paragraph is that the government gave us cash, so we’re bound to feign Constitution love. Now, if you’re paying attention, which I know you aren’t (and by the way, aren’t marshmallows the softest thing a man can eat?), you might ask me a few questions about this.

You might say, “Hey, didn’t John ‘torture memo’ Yoo speak at our first C-Day celebration back in 2005? Isn’t that kind of weird since the 8th amendment forbids cruel and unusual punishment? Also doesn’t that guy, who still works here by the way, also advocate a system where the checks and balances cease to matter in a time of war?”

Look, enough with your hypothetical questions. Which you, again, won’t ask since you aren’t reading this (and by the way, isn’t the Campanile just a tad phallic?). It is a bit weird that the guy still works here. After his friend (we would have asked Al Gonzales to speak at our 2007 C-day, but he’s tied up in some sort of legal trouble) got ousted from the government, we kind of expected the Yoo to hit the fan. He’s been “controversial” for quite some time. I mean, just look at this old interview exchange:

bq. Doug Cassel: If the President deems that he’s got to torture somebody, including by crushing the testicles of the person’s child, there is no law that can stop him?

bq. John Yoo: No treaty.

bq. DC: Also no law by Congress. That is what you wrote in the August 2002 memo.

bq. JY: I think it depends on why the President thinks he needs to do that.

(Shaking my head in disbelief.)

One has to wonder if there is a tipping point with this fellow. The truth is this, kids: John Yoo is our canary in the mine. If you’re seriously clamoring for his ouster, we’ll know that you might start asking for textbooks that are actually affordable and exercise facilities that aren’t crazily overcrowded. Anyway, that’s when I decide to buy a house out in Napa and take an extended sabbatical.

Fortunately, your lack of entitlement and abundance of apathy has spared me such annoyances. I’ve even had time to get really, really good at Madden 2008 on Xbox 360. I can flip a Cheeto into my mouth while simultaneously throwing a screen pass. In short, I totally rule at life. But yeah, even though you obviously don’t care about your democracy, you’re welcome to enjoy our C-day events. In the meantime, feel free to wiki your favorite Boalt prof.



Image Source: Michael Smith, Daily Cal

Students received an e-mail from UCPD and Jonathan Poullard, dean of students, about recent crime in our community. We’re posting the highlights here to help improve campus safety. Because knowing is half the battle.

The following is very sic:

bq. As you may be aware there were a number of armed robberies on campus and near the residence halls that occurred over the past two weeks. It’s important to realize that as with any college campus, ours is not immune from crime. While the Berkeley campus and surrounding areas are generally as safe as other urban areas, the surge over the past two weeks in incidents of robbery, some involving weapons, was unusual. UC Police Department (UCPD) and the City of Berkeley police are aware of the problem and are taking extra measures in response. These include increased uniformed and plain-clothes patrols, as well as
coordination with other local agencies to analyze the trends.

bq. We want to be sure you have accurate information about these recent incidents. There have been nine robberies between September 1 and September 10 on and around the Berkeley campus. Suspects have been arrested in four of the nine
cases. We understand that these crimes have raised concerns about safety. We share these concerns and have been working to address them.

bq. The robbery that occurred on campus near Haviland Hall on Monday evening, September 10 caused the most reaction from our community. In that case, the victim was stuck by several pellets fired from a bb gun. The victim was also punched and kicked after initially resisting the robbery attempt. UCPD was called and advised that there was a robbery in progress and that shots were fired and that the victim may be injured. UCPD officers arrived very soon after the call, saw the two juvenile suspects and pursued them. One was caught quickly. Although the other suspect eluded officers for nearly 90 minutes; he was located and apprehended and found to be in possession of the
bb gun. During the search for the second suspect, our officers asked people in the area to “shelter in place” in their offices or residences. The arrests on Monday evening led to other cases being closed, and detectives from the City of Berkeley and the UCPD are following up on other leads.

The e-mail notes a few numbers of use:

* For emergencies on or around the campus: 510-642-3333. UCPD will respond.

* BearWALK: 510-642-WALK. You can use the number after dusk and before 1:45am. BearWALK will send a uniformed Community Service Office to escort you anywhere within four or five blocks of campus. Usually, the CSOs are students. Several of the Clogs friends work or have worked at BearWALK in the past. Highly recommended.

* Night Safety Shuttles: 510-642-WALK. Find out when the next shuttle stops near you. You can use the Night Safety Shuttle to travel to BART or to the southside residence halls. The Ride-To-Your-Door lines allow you to ride all the way home within service area boundaries.

* Owl Service: 510-642-6760. Between 3 a.m. and 5:45 a.m., UCPD offers van pick up and drop off service from door to door.