It’s that lovely time of year again when clubs start recruitment anew and spring admits try their best to fit in as if they were actually here during the fall to figure Berkeley out. If you’re one of these numbers, here are some ways to know you still obviously look like a newbie.

Campanile 1) You call the GBC the Golden Bear Cafe.
No one has time to call it by its full name except during campus tours and orientation.

2) You go to Crossroads for every meal.
People other than freshmen eat in our esteemed dining commons, but certainly not all the time! If you must stick to school dining, explore other places around campus!

3) You take every flier on Sproul.
Either you don’t know how to say no yet, or you’re eager to find out everything that’s happening on campus. We don’t think this will last long.

4) You say hi to people on the first day of class.
Being friendly is wonderful, but most students of any other year have grown old, boring and set in their ways. They probably won’t be initiating conversations during their 8 a.m. biology lectures any time soon.

5) You’re afraid to steal food from the DC.
Crossroads can’t actually expel you for walking out with a piece of pizza without a to-go box. Heck, we’ve known people who took whole Tupperware boxes with them to fulfill all their snacking needs for later.

6) You haven’t streamed any TV yet for fear of getting caught.
We don’t advocate illegal activities, but we promise no one will knock knowingly on your door the moment you search for a streaming website, and Hulu doesn’t instantly eat up all your allotted bandwidth.

7) You pay attention to the posters in the hall explaining each acronym.
We abbreviate everything, and the difference between the ASC and ASUC does need explaining. Just memorize them quickly, and don’t let anyone catch you looking.

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Our campus’ beloved and often crowded Golden Bear Café, never actually referred to as anything but the GBC, is cracking down on all possible looters. Thinking of running in to grab a few napkins and a fork to eat the lunch you brought from home? Think again. To get access to these coveted items, you now have to have purchased something. Never mind the fact you probably ate there every day when you had meal points, you can’t take anything now if you don’t keep buying stuff.

GBC Sign

One unlucky ‘customer’ got caught in a fib earlier this semester. Upon entering the esteemed establishments for a spoon, he was asked if he bought anything. The poor fellow began stuttering out a desperate claim that he’d bought some chips or other small snack earlier. Of course, this simply wouldn’t cut it for the GBC employee. They needed a receipt to irrefutably prove his honor. We’re pretty sure he just grabbed a spoon and dashed out as quickly as he could, but there’s a lesson to be learned here: If you’re going to steal from them, at least try to be sneaky about it. Either that or steal someone’s receipt first.

GBC Stuff

Just kidding. We wouldn’t condone theft. A perfectly condonable option is to buy something small from the café if you intend on using their utensils or condiments. If you aren’t willing to do that you’ll either have to bring stuff from home or ask a friend buying from the GBC to get you whatever you need.

Moral of the story? Theft is apparently a definite no-no, even if it is just paper or ketchup.

Image source: Erum Khan, Daily Cal

As the wise Liz Lemon once said, “All of human kind has one thing in common. The sandwich” (have you noticed we love 30 Rock?). And what better finals-frenzy food is there than a sandwich? The sandwich is a delightful package of goodness, perfect for eating while studying … or watching Netflix. Let the Clog take you on a magical ride through a world where bread, meat, cheese, veggies and condiments can be together as one …

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This week we found something even more exciting than Chipotle Free Burrito Day and eight-cent drinks in the city: Five-cent coffee at Walgreens every Friday. That’s right, FIVE CENTS. And as some of the most sleep-deprived and caffeine-dependent students in Berkeley, we’ve done our research and we can guarantee you, this is definitely the cheapest coffee in town.

And here’s our compiled list of venues serving the bean for under a buck: read more »