Dean of Students Jonathan Poullard e-mailed the student body this evening to tell us to play nice with USC fans. The USC game has always been tense as of recent times, but we can control ourselves just fine, right? It’s easy to play by Poullard’s rules:

* Set a positive example both in and out of the stadium;
* Show respect for yourself, your team, and your university by demonstrating respect towards all around you;
* While you alone are responsible for your actions, you do have the opportunity to set a positive example for others


Monday, Nov. 5, 2007

1:45 p.m., Unit 2 bicycle racks: Found property, sent to UCPD bike bureau for safekeeping.

See? No one stole the bike! That’s nice. That shows respect for others.

Sunday, Nov. 4, 2007

12:30 a.m., Bowditch Street and Durant Ave: An officer talks to a male student, 21, for public intoxication and crossing against a red light. The officer also talks to a female student, 21, for crossing against a red light.

OK, so at least there wasn’t any harm done. A mere scratch on a glistening record.

Saturday, Nov. 3, 2007

7:33 p.m., Memorial Stadium: An officer ejects a male, 27, for an open alcohol container.

7:44 p.m., Memorial Stadium: An officers talks to a male, 52, for smuggling alcohol.

8:24 p.m., Memorial Stadium: An officer talks to a male, 49, for causing a disturbance.

8:25 p.m., Memorial Stadium: An officer talks to a male, 14, for causing a disturbance.

8:28 p.m., Memorial Stadium: An officer talks to a male, 23, for throwing an object onto field and staff.

8:29 p.m., Memorial Stadium: An officer ejects a male, 19, for causing a disturbance and for public intoxication.

8:30 p.m., Memorial Stadium: An officer ejects a male, 20, for underage alcohol consumption.

9:05 p.m., Memorial Stadium: An officer ejects a female, 27, for public intoxication.

9:15 p.m., Memorial Stadium: An officer ejects a female, 24, for public intoxication.

9:20 p.m., Memorial Stadium: An officer ejects a male student, 19, for throwing objects into the crowd.

9:25 p.m., Memorial Stadium: An officer ejects a male student, 21, and another male, 25, for disorderly conduct.

9:30 p.m., Memorial Stadium: An officer ejects a female, 27, for causing a disturbance and for alcohol consumption.

10:08 p.m., Memorial Stadium: An officer ejects a male student, 20, for throwing an object into the crowd.

Oh. Damn.

Image Source: Nate Tabak
PoLo is compiled from the UC Police Department’s online Daily Activity Bulletin.
Earlier: PoLo: Spies, Suspicion and Sh—Human Waste

A lot happened in the past few days, particularly yesterday. Crossroads was a bedlam (OK, not so much), suspicious things occurred suspiciously and then there was some shit. Literally.

Monday, Oct. 8, 2007
12:35 a.m., Crossroads: An officer talks to a man, 59, about lodging.

We know you can sometimes get two meals for the price of one if you stay long enough, but seriously, Crossroads isn’t that great. C’mon, have you tried the vegan pizza? Don’t.

12:45 p.m., in front of California Hall: BAMN demonstration.

Police logs originally spelled it “BAMM.” Oh, what’s that? By Any Means Maybe is protesting? Better hop to it … in a second. Those people are only sorta into it.

1:56 p.m., Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory: Report of a suspicious circumstance regarding a model airplane with attached camera flying over the Lawrence Lab.

Quick, shine the bat signal! Call the Super Friends! Where’s Wonder Woman and that darn invisible jet? Better not forget that lasso of truth again …

5 p.m., Signpost-16: Report of a suspicious circumstance regarding an individual with a suspicious object.


7:05 p.m., Crossroads: An officer talks to two male students, 17 and 18, about rules violation–blocking the aisle and refusing to move.

They were obviously immobilized by the foul refuse that is the vegan pizza.

7:46 p.m., eucalyptus grove: Trash can fire, caused by cigarette. Extinguished.

The university was right! Save the trees: Cut ‘em down before they burn themselves.

Saturday, Oct. 6, 2007
5:57 a.m., oak grove: Two employees exposed to human waste. Listed as a casualty.


Image Source: Nate Tabak
PoLo is compiled from the UC Police Department’s online Daily Activity Bulletin.
Earlier: PoLo: We Got Them Pre-Semester Blues

This week in police log is all about vandalism. Vandalism on the walls, vandalism in the buildings and vandalism against common sense. We also have plenty of Cal spirit, with guest appearances from the Band and from the ASUC Senate (we think). Thursday, August 23, 2007 2:28 a.m., ASUC: Vandalism via window break and public intoxication.Vandalism and drinking. To make it interesting, we really hope it was the incoming ASUC President Van Nguyen. There’s some history to be upheld here.12:23 a.m., Lower Sproul Plaza: Female student refused to show ID.Well, at least she wasn’t caught without ID in the UCLA library.Wednesday, August 22, 2007 11:45 a.m., New Underhill Parking Lot: Vandalism via multi-colored spray paint, various locations, PPCS notified. Under investigation.Look, spontaneous artwork of the urban underclass ought to be celebrated a resistance to the system. Unless it sucks, then paint that shit over quick.3:20 p.m., Strawberry Creek/Eucalyptus Grove: Two men, loitering in bushes.It boggles the mind to think about what these two upstanding citizens were doing in those bushes. The Clog will assume that they were playing with Magic cards until we learn otherwise.Tuesday, August 21, 2007 12:23 p.m., Vine/Scenic: Suspicious circumstance regarding graffiti.Should have used the Facebook graffiti maker.Monday, August 20, 2007 3:40 p.m., Dwinelle Annex: Man given civil advice regarding a disturbance caused by Cal Band.In a Clog exclusive, we have learned exactly what that civil advice was: Shout “Cal Band Great” after they finish playing. There can be no other advice.12:11 p.m., 2360 Telegraph Avenue: Outside assist with the arrest of man for petty theft and possession of counterfeit money. To BPD Jail.The street people may want to look into this. Instead of asking for money, seize the initiative and make your own.Sunday, August 19, 2007 4:01 p.m: 15-year-old woman given civil advice regarding a confusing text message.Here’s our handy guide for future confusion:U= YouR= ArePWN= P to the ownedLol= Laughing out loudROLFMAO= Rolling on the floor laughing my ass offBBQ= BarbequeWTF= What the fuckIMHO= In my humble opinionFTW= For the winZomg= Z Oh my GodTBIOOTF, TBIOOTF= The Band is out on the field, The Band is out on the fieldn00b= Don’t even askPoLo is compiled from the UC Police Department’s online Daily Activity Bulletin.Earlier: PoLo: A Little Disturbed.

It’s been a hot week. This isn’t supposed to happen in Berkeley.

All the recent fire activity isn’t really helping either. Can it please rain or something? Or can people stop lighting shit on fire?

According the police logs, apparently not.

Saturday, June 9, 2007
11:00 p.m., Sproul Hall: A female, 22, and a male, 33, found participating in lewd conduct.

We need more details than this. Come on, there’s nothing good on TV and “lewd conduct” alone does not suffice.

Monday, June 11, 2007
4:43 p.m., Bowles Lot: Alameda County Fire Department responded and extinguished a dumpster fire. The cause was charcoal disposal. No damage.

Sorry to disappoint, but you can’t really barbecue in your dumpster.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007
12:01 a.m., Memorial Stadium: Confiscation of rope hanging from a tree.

But how will the Treewoks get down? Oh well. They’ve been there for more than half a year already. Might as well stay.

1:30 p.m., West Crescent: Four minors, including two 16-year-old females, a 17-year-old male and a 15-year-old male, found starting a fire via burning paper.

Seriously, ants are so much more fun to burn.

PoLo is compiled from the UC Police Department’s online Daily Activity Bulletin.
Earlier: PoLo: Post-Finals Stress Lingers

It might be difficult to believe, but while you’ve all been huddled in the depths of the Main Stacks, Berkeley has been misbehaving. And not in the fun way (well, except for those naked folks). Here’s a quick recap of some of the less legal goings on of the past week.

Friday, May 11, 2007
6:01 p.m., Dwinelle Hall: Report of a suspicious package. Proved OK.

Nice try, but you’re still going to have to take that final, kiddo.

Saturday, May 12, 2007
9:30 a.m., Unit 3: Vandalism via chalk.

That’s odd. We thought the ASUC elections were over.

12:08 p.m., Peoples’ Park: Possession of an airsoft gun.

Personally, we’d say an airsoft gun is less threatening than a lot of things in Peoples’ Park.

5:37 p.m., Greek Theatre: Male reports injury during course of arrest. Will seek own medical attention.

5:42 p.m., Greek Theatre: Male reports injury during course of arrest. Will seek own medical attention.

Stop complaining about your O-Chem final. At least you didn’t get arrested in the process of getting mindfucked.

Sunday, May 13, 2007
2:37 a.m., Unit 1-Slottman Hall: Victim of alcohol-related illness.

Really, REALLY should have been studying. But who hasn’t made the mistake of saying, “Well, one little drink won’t hurt,” when you’re going through six weeks of lecture notes?

Monday, May 14, 2007
8:44 a.m., Haste Street: Report of theft of children’s playground furniture.

Because stealing candy from a child is just too easy.

6:08 p.m., International House Library: Report of theft of eleven books.

Maybe the thief just couldn’t find them in the library. Books on “The Aggressive Behavior of Sealions Between the Ages of Two and Four” can be awfully hard to come by.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007
11:00 a.m., Peoples’ Park: Dog not on a leash.

Oh. The. Humanity.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007
9:00 p.m., Unit 2-Loading dock: Dumpster diving.

Why is this even illegal? It’s good exercise, it’s cost effective and you don’t have to stray too far from you dorm room.

PoLo is compiled from the UC Police Department’s online Daily Activity Bulletin.
Earlier: PoLo: All Hot and Bothered over Water

We can understand the importance of water when it’s hot like this in Berkeley. However, things get mighty ugly when water is used inappropriately. Don’t be another statistic. Drink (and use) responsively. Otherwise, you’ll end up in the PoLo.

Tuesday, May 1, 2007
7:11 a.m., Eastside by I-House Lot, Memorial Stadium: chalking.

Damn treehuggers. You’ve got nothing on Student Action.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007
3:00 p.m., Memorial Stadium: Report of drummers disturbing the peace for more than three hours.

What’s with you noisy brats, anyway? Can’t you take that drumming somewhere private, eh? It’s three in the afternoon and you’re ruining the right to take a delicious afternoon nap.

Thursday, May 3, 2007
1:30 p.m., Moffit Library: Eating/drinking in the stacks. One male student, 20, involved.

Oh, that’s hardcore. You know it’s a slow day when this gets mention in the police logs.

Saturday, May 5, 2007
11:25 p.m., I-House: Report of vandalism to window via water bottle.

How exactly does one accomplish that? We guess wet windows equal vandalized property.

Sunday, May 6, 2007
6:00 p.m. Unit 1-Christian: Officer speaks to one female student, 21, and one male student, 20, about disturbing the peace on campus and throwing water balloons.

It seems water is a contentious item on campus. Stop wasting our precious resources, ya heard?

PoLo is compiled from the UC Police Department’s online Daily Activity Bulletin.
Earlier: PoLo: Campus Plays It Naughty

Despite all the papers due and looming finals, trouble still abounds on campus in some very sexy ways. From Zachary RunningWolf chalking to indecently exposed students disturbing the peace, this past week in PoLo sure got our juices flowing.

h2. Wednesday, April 25, 2007

**2:04 a.m.**, _University Village: Suspicious circumstance regarding cutting down palm tree fronds. Two male students, 18 and 19 years old, identified as suspects._

Bravo. Talk about putting the lime in the coconut and drinking them both down. Clearly these students allegedly know at where the real party is. It is also comforting to know that there are also tree cutters among us (allegedly).

**12:19 a.m.**, _Sather Gate: Zachary RunningWolf chalking the ground in rules violation._

Someone’s been a bad bunny rabbit. Our favorite canine just got a lot hotter.

h2. Thursday, April 26, 2007

**10:15 a.m.**, _In front of 190 Doe Library: UC Berkeley employee finds bullet._


h2. Friday, April 27, 2007

**10:15 a.m.**, _Moffitt Library restroom: Female student reports seeing peeping Tom._

Creepy fuck. Apparently someone didn’t get the memo that you can put porn on an iPod.

h2. Saturday, April 28, 2007

**1:33 a.m.**, _Unit-2 courtyard: Male student, 23, and 21-year-old male non-student involved in mutual battery. No prosecution sought._

Good old fashioned fisticuffs. It gives us a warm fuzzy feeling.

h2. Sunday, April 29, 2007

**12:35 a.m.**, _Bowles Hall: Officer speaks to male student, 19, about indecent exposure and disturbing the peace._

**12:50 a.m.**, _Sproul Plaza: Officer speaks four students, 18, 20 and two aged 19, about indecent exposure and disturbing the peace._

**2:30 a.m.**, _Haas Pools: Officer speaks to three female students, two 19-year-olds and one 20-year-old, and one 20-year-old male student about trespassing._

We don’t know if these three incidents are related. But the possibility that we missed an epic multi-location campus orgy deeply saddens us.

**5:35 p.m.**, _Bancroft Way and Telegraph Avenue: Officer conducts welfare check on 12-year-old boy faking injury/illness._

UCPD: Keeping tabs on bad little boys.

PoLo is compiled from the UC Police Department’s online Daily Activity Bulletin.
Earlier: PoLo: Vice Finds Home in Units

The theme of this week is bad shit going down in the units, including pissing in public. Dear readers, it’s a wild world. The residence halls are no exception.

Friday, April 13, 2007

12:04 a.m., Unit-3: 19-year-old male student reports being threatened about a money debt.

Loan-sharking in the units? Sketchalicious. Unit-3 would be our first choice too.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

1:55 a.m., Unit 3-Spensblack: Officer speaks to 21-year-old male UC Berkeley student about urinating in public.

We have a burning question, which will likely remain unanswered. Did the officer make the student stop his micturition effort mid-stream?

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

4:54 p.m., Unit 1-Christian Hall restroom: Male student, 21, reports theft of cell phone. Phone subsequently recovered, and 19-year-old male non-student arrested at Unit 1 on suspicion of possession of stolen property and trespassing. An 18-year-old male non-student was cited on suspicion of trespassing at the same location.

As we’ve said, unsavory people do sometimes get into the residential halls. Remember, if a thief can steal something from a bathroom, they can also get into an unlocked dorm.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

8:41 p.m., Free Speech Movement Cafe: 25-year-old male non-student arrested on suspicion of disturbing the peace, battery and violation of probation. Suspect booked at Berkeley Jail and excluded from campus for seven days.

Unfortunately for this person, the freedom to beat up others and violate one’s probation was not a goal of the Free Speech Movement. And talk about burn! UC police saw fit to give this man the sting of a ban from campus, as if arrest wasn’t enough.

PoLo is compiled from the UC Police Department’s online Daily Activity Bulletin.

Earlier: PoLo: Couple Gets Their Sexy on Outside Chancellor’s Pad

On the heels of “Cake and Cunnilingus Day”:, we have for you a tasty helping of PoLo to cleanse your palates. It is thus quite appropriate to start things off with a tale of sexy time outside the chancellor’s house. And of course, no week is complete without a helping of Oakgate.

Friday, April 6, 2007

12:35 a.m., South side of University House: Officer speaks to 22-year-old female and 23-year-old male non-students about sexual activity.

That’s pretty hot. Chancellor Robert Birgeneau lives at University House. Just the thought of getting freaky near the man gives us goose-bumps.

Saturday, April 7, 2007

3:48 p.m., Unit 1-Freeborn Hall: 19-year-old female UC Berkeley student reports burglary to unlocked dorm room. Loss valued at $6,000.

Students: the Clog cares about you deeply, so listen closely. People will take your shit if your dorm/car/whatever is unlocked. And don’t think fellow students are immune from the draws of other people’s property. Word.

Sunday, April 8, 2007

3:42 a.m., Unit-1 courtyard: 18-year-old female UC Berkeley student arrested on suspicion of public drunkenness, booked at Berkeley Jail.

Poor baby. At least the city lockup has premium cable.

Monday, April 9, 2007

11:45 p.m., People’s Park: Officer speaks to three male UC Berkeley students, two 18 and one 19 years old, about marijuana activity.

Finally, students are using the park as intended.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

1:01 p.m., Hearst Mining Building: UC Berkeley employee reports suspicious circumstances involving a lock pry to mine shaft.

Lock pry to mine shaft? Sounds dirty.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

11:44 a.m., Memorial Stadium: Property confiscation. Trespassing and illegal lodging warrant to be sought for male suspect.

The Oakgate crackdown continues. Our mine shaft remains pointed downward.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

9:15 p.m., Memorial Stadium: Officers speak to persons about rules violation and illegal dumping.

Same shit, different day.

1:24 p.m.
, 2400 block of Bowditch Street: Male student identified as suspect in trespassing at Memorial Stadium.

Still flaccid.

PoLo is compiled from the UC Police Department’s online “Daily Activity Bulletin”:

Earlier: PoLo: Student Calls Cops on Her Poetry Group

From the bottom of our contrite hearts, the Clog wishes you the happiest of Easters, or at least a delightful Sunday if you’re not into the whole Christianity thing. In case you didn’t get a basket, here’s a week of PoLo to satisfy the sweetest of teeth.

Monday, April 2, 2007

11:45 p.m., 2600 block of Dwight Way: Officer conducts field interview with 45-year-old male who had no bicycle light and was carrying bolt cutters.

Sounds a little shady, but we can’t help but be impressed with his ability to carry bolt cutters while riding a bike.

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

5:24 p.m., Wheeler Hall: Female UC Berkeley student, 20, reports being verbally harassed by members of her poetry group.

Roses are red, violets are blue, your poetry’s shitty, so boo hoo hoo.

6:57 p.m., Eucalyptus Grove: 16-year-old male arrested on suspicion of possessing a switchblade on campus and having less than 28.5 grams of marijuana. Released to parent with notice to appear in court.

Yet another reason to avoid Eucalyptus Grove. For years, this has been the place where people get jacked.

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

1:27 a.m., Parking Structure H: Male UC Berkeley employee, 55, reports vehicle tampering via brake line cut. Male suspect, 44, identified and under investigation.

Shit, we didn’t realize people actually cut brake lines. Damn.

1:52 p.m., Parking Structure C: 40-year-male arrested on suspicion of cocaine base (smokable) for sale and probation violation. Booked at Berkeley Jail.

First brake line cutting and now cocaine sales, apparently we’ve been missing out on the true pleasures of the campus parking experience.

Thursday, April 5, 2007

12:54 p.m., Foothill-3: Theft of $161.45 reported stolen from Coca-Cola vending machine.

Of course UC Berkeley students would never think of doing such a thing, right?

Earlier: PoLo: Campanile Desecration Leads off Spring Break Mayhem

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