ZOMG, GUYZ WATCH OUT. What’s up Berkeley? Feeling masochistic? Great, so are we! Good thing we found this interactive map of campus buildings that shows you their seismic ratings.

According to California Watch, the UC system “still has 102 buildings rated as ‘poor’ and 10 as ‘very poor.’” And yeah, we get it, that’s not good and people should know what they’re walking into … literally. But still, we have to wonder why they couldn’t throw a single structure in there with a rating higher than “poor?” Not one “good” just for comparison’s sake? Just so we could breathe a sigh of relief walking through the doors of Wheeler Hall and know that we’ve made a good decision, if not in future employment opportunity then–at least–in seismic safety?

Throw us a freaking bone, here, California Watch! Because the feeling we get from interacting with this map is that everything is going to crumble under our feet at the first sign of a tremor. We couldn’t even seek refuge in the great, symbolic Campanile! Sad times.

And speaking of things that are going to crumble at the first sign of a tremor, watch out for the Greek Theatre. Just sayin’.

Image Source: Alan Wong/Staff, Daily Cal
MAP: Seismically hazardous buildings at UC Berkeley [California Watch]

We’ve grown weary lately of CalTV and crime, so three Cloggers traversed Southside looking for the best spots to get lost in narrative.

We perused Moe’s Books, Cartesian Books, Revolution Books and Pegasus Books, mostly because they all have “books” in their name. It seemed like a promising place to start.

Warning: For those seeking hard-hitting news, this crawl covers the kind of investigative reporting worthy of our esteemed readership—those who like bad jokes, cliche puns and nothing terribly new besides our perspective.

First stop: Moe’s Books. Surprisingly close to a donut shop. Like, next door. This means 1) tasty snacks are nearby and 2) the smell of trans-fat-free deliciousity can overtake icky Telegraph smell. After drooling past the scrumptious neighbor, we headed for the Women’s Studies/Sexuality section inside.

* Scott Lucas ultimately disapproves of his first find, R. Don Steele’s “How To Date Young Women”: … it takes you until page 161 to get to the “Sex With Her” chapter.

He’ll get back to us once he’s done reading.

* Christine Borden, on The Clog’s favorite find of the day, Harold Lloyd’s “Hollywood Nudes in 3-D!”: Woah. Woah.

Other neat things about Moe’s: many floors, obscure sections and close to campus (and did we mention donuts?).

Not as neat things: up-skirt-prone open stairwells, dangerous proximity to donut shop, not quite as organized as four floors of books could be.

Rating: 8/10

Next stop: Cartesian Books. For those brave enough to enter the hole in the wall (or even find it—it’s on Dwight Avenue next to Ann’s Kitchen), Cartesian is not really that terrible, as long as you’re just browsing.

* Christine finds “The Encyclopedia of Bad Taste,” an anthology of cautionary tales against all things glitter, leopard and tattoo. Moments later, she points to a smarmy Liberace portrait and notes: “His jacket matches my shoes!”

* Krista Lane’s favorite book of the day was “Cats Incredible! True Stories of Fantastic Feline Feats.” The dialogue actually went like this:

bq. CB: This is the kind of gift you give to your cat lover friend as a joke.
SL: It’s purr-fect.
KL: Hardy har har.
SL: Please don’t write that.
CB: Please write that.

We fear that Krista’s subsequent purchase of “Cats Incredible!” was the musty old owner’s only recent sale. The newest books were published in the early ’90s, and boxes of miscellaneous books strewn about makes navigating the ten square feet of floorspace difficult. Still, it has those off-the-wall books no one else would ever sell, and the trash cans outside are a nice touch to ward off average customers. New hipster hangout?

Rating: 4.5/10

We took a coffee break, during which we said many bad puns about “latte-das” and coffee mugs(hots). Conclusion:

bq. CB: We are so lame.

Revolution Books, the Marxist/Maoist bookstore hiding between Channing Street and Durant Avenue across from Cheese & Stuff, was the most consistent of the stores. Aside from selling books denouncing capitalism, this is your one-stop shopping center for all your revolutionary needs, including “Harry Potter” and all the Wiccan rights bumper stickers you can find.

We gave this one high Marx, particularly for how well the cashier dealt with the crazy guy trying to sell a book from his waistband.

Rating: 8/10

Last stop: Pegasus. Points for a “Big Lebowski” book on the counter. We begin with a Dude test:

CB: Are you employed, sir? Do you have any Kahlua?

We were soon interrupted by the same crazy guy from Revolution trying to sell a book. We briefly considered that he followed us but continued to the children’s section. Christine read Gerald, Jr. a story.

The Women’s Studies/Sexuality section is, oddly enough, kept right next to the humor/comics section, for which the feminists knock the place down a notch. Pegasus does win Krista’s vote for best advice book, though, with a rousing edition of Sarah B. Pomeroy’s “Goddesses, Whores, Wives, and Slaves.”

Pegasus has great sales and a fairly extensive array of magazines, ranging from “Bitch” to “People” to bizarre wizardry magazines and offbeat art journals. They have birthday cards and “Calvin and Hobbes,” and that’s good enough for us.

Rating: 7.5/10