431342061_784ae8c0cdAmong approaching finals, alien invasions and an overblown viral infection, we thought for sure we had enough on our plates.

False. There has apparently been a recent spike in criminal activity as well, judging by the FOUR strong-arm robberies that occurred near UC Berkeley campus on Sunday night. Between the hours of 8 and 11 p.m., a woman who resisted the theft of her purse by a lone assailant was promptly punched in the face; three to four men, one of whom at least pretended to have a handgun, stole some poor guy’s phone; five or six dudes stole another

guy’s wallet; and, finally, one member of a group of four men punched yet another innocent pedestrian in the face and booked it with his phone.

These incidents occurred respectively at Ellsworth and Haste streets, Dwight Way and Telegraph Avenue, Channing Way and Dana Street, and (again) Dwight Way and Telegraph Avenue.

Readers, please be careful! This world is populated by douche bags. Safety is only a phone call away.

Image Source: manual_focus under Creative Commons
My Mom’s New Boyfriend psp Brick trailer Four strong-arm robberies reported near UC Berkeley campus [MercuryNews]

Two men were taken into custody yesterday by the UCPD in connection with the robbery of a Clark Kerr dorm three weeks ago. 21-year-olds Gary Doxy and R.J. Garrett, both ex-football players, are alleged to have held four of their peers at gunpoint while demanding wallets and laptops. Turns out the gun was a BB gun. Not that that makes it all better or anything.

Significantly, police say that the robbery may have been incited by some racial slurs–ones that a drunk white male crew member allegedly made during the course of a party. News of the slurs is believed to have eventually reached Doxy and Garrett, who then allegedly proceeded to stick up two members of the crew team and some incidental roommates. Specifically, police believe they robbed crew members who hadn’t made the offensive comments themselves. Come again?

(Note: Post edited for accuracy.)

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Two UC Berkeley Students Arrested in Connection With Clark Kerr Armed Robbery [Daily Cal]

For the past few months, armed robbers have held up various Asian restaurants and their customers in Albany, Berkeley, Oakland and other Bay Area cities. If you are an Asian food connoisseur, don’t worry–the police have finally arrested a suspect. However, according to the suspect–19-year-old Lance Lindquist of Oakland–it seems the string of holdups wasn’t about an Asian fetish, after all.

Asked if Lindquist explained why Asian restaurants were targeted, Campbell said, “Basically, what Mr. Lindquist told me was that he picked restaurants that there were a lot of cars in front of and had a lot of people inside, and that was Asian restaurants.”

Does this mean we are now free to eat our walnut prawns in peace? Well, as long as Lindquist is the the actual guy, and they find his accomplice. For now, just eat Italian.

Image Source: Florian Boyd under Creative Commons
Man arrested in string of stickups at East Bay Asian restaurants [SF Chronicle]

Cal guards Patrick Christopher and Jerome Randle were arrested early last Sunday morning as suspects of an attempted robbery. Great.

But on Monday, the Alameda County District Attorney decided to not press any charges against the two Bears basketball players.

Now, you ask, why were Christopher and Randle caught allegedly doing such idiotic things? Well, UCPD said that the duo was just trying to have a little fun.

bq. “The players admitted to having fun. They were just scaring people. They weren’t trying to rob anyone,” said Mitch Celaya, assistant chief for the UC Berkeley Police Department. “Pretty stupid.”

According to police, Christopher and Randle pulled their car over to the sidewalk next to two individuals. They pointed a silver cell phone at the two individuals, demanded their money and then drove away, police said.

We never thought that doing something like that would be so fun.

Here’s an idea for the both of them: Instead of allegedly trying to scare people on the streets of Berkeley at 1:30 in the morning for fun, try winning next season. That’s pretty fun, and they didn’t do much of that last year.

Image Source: Nate Tabak, Daily Cal
No charges filed against Cal basketball duo [Inside Bay Area]