Michael Kang, Daily Cal

That’s what Fresh said this morning as more than 300 onlookers watched him continue to resist the orders of the UCPD. The cops attempted to ease him down at around 12 p.m. using a written statement that promised no arrest or identification if he descends from his post. Using ladders and sharp instruments, they also cut away Fresh’s hammock and supplies.

Naturally, he didn’t budge. He didn’t kick his “shitbucket,” either–much to the dismay of the people who skipped class in hopes of seeing drama unfold.

Obviously, the Fresh saga is not over. Based on what we heard today, however, the Clog compiled a short list of things you should say to your closest neighbor if you ever find yourself ogling at the drawn-out treewok spectacle.

  • “Is this where my tax dollars are going?”
  • “SHUT UP!” (Make sure you direct this in the general direction of anyone who expresses support for the sit.)
  • “Where is the accountability!”
  • “If you really support your cause, take off the mask!”
  • “We love you, Fresh!”
  • And if your name is Ayr, a.k.a. Erik Eisenberg, please wear that awesome Wicked t-shirt more often.

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    UC Berkeley treated our resident Cal parakeet, “Fresh,” to quite a spectacle yesterday–and we’re not talking about the performers for Pilipino Cultural Night who were practicing a heartfelt rendition of Boyz II Men’s “End of the Road” on Dwinelle Plaza, directly across from his perch.

    No, Fresh had a gang of angry supporters by his police-lined fences on Sunday afternoon. Among the riled up company was our favorite all-purpose protester, Zachary RunningWolf–tricked out in his usual impeccably-selected anti-American t-shirt.

    read more »

    volcom-party.jpg Expect a rainbow-haired crowd of punky Berkeley High School students and their university ilk to cram Volcom’s Telegraph Avenue location tonight. The store is having its Grand Opening Party, finally–complete with free beer, free crap and a live band, Totimoshi.

    We’re sure the “Youth Against Establishment” clothier picked Berkeley as its Northern California location because of our historically anti-establishment vibes. And they did so at a perfect time, too–considering the treewoks, Code Pink and others are getting louder than ever. We wish Volcom luck as they traverse the currently shaky business district that is Telegraph Avenue, though we have no doubt they’ll be able to sucker lots of trendy activists into buying their overpriced fashion statements.

    Alternatively, you could shell out $3 and head to Wheeler Auditorium at 7 p.m. or 9:15 p.m. to enjoy a screening of recent Academy Award winner and all-around awesome film, “No Country for Old Men.” We guarantee it will be better than last Friday’s screening of “Berkeley.”

    Image Source: Volcom

    ASUC SUPERB [Website]
    Earlier: Berkeley Movie Screening Draws Crowd and Really Obvious Analogy

    Lately, we find it hard to take the tree people seriously, when their 300-ish day stint at Memorial Stadium has clearly distracted them from the greater principle of saving trees.

    Maybe the tree people aren’t acting on such a principle, but it would certainly seem that way. See the banner in the picture? It says “Love Trees.” (Speaking of the picture, a tangential observation: since when were non-natural plastic office chairs appropriate Nuclear-Free-Vegan-Save-The-Trees Zone seating?)

    Tree people, where were you when this one happened? Oh, right.

    Sure, for fire safety reasons the university can cut down 23,000 eucalyptus trees with no intention of replanting, but on principle the university shouldn’t be able to cut down 26 trees they plan to replace?

    We find it hard to believe the tree people missed this one. Surely, they must have ignored it because 26 oak trees are far more valuable an asset to Berkeley’s landscape than 23,000 silly old eucalyptus trees in the hills. Or maybe it’s just harder to cut the tops off. Perhaps it’s because the oaks are native or something, which obviously makes them superior. Does the same go for humans, tree people?

    It just seems a bit incongruous to advocate saving trees when the platforms the tree people have built are mostly made of wood, they’re expanding those platforms in light of recent court orders to vacate and elsewhere, about 800 times the number of trees are being chopped without replacement by the university to hardly a peep of protest that has anything to do with saving trees.

    Come on.

    Image Source: Jessica Kuo, Daily Cal
    Campus Set to Clear Eucalyptus Trees [Daily Cal]

    As of late Monday afternoon, an Alameda County judge ordered the sorta homeless, media-garnering, poo-flinging tree sitters to climb down or face five days in jail and a $1,000 fine.

    We thought living in a fenced-in tree for ten months would be greater punishment than five days in jail (because, let’s face it, who really knows what goes on up there), but surely the $1,000 additional fine for noncompliance will really bring them down. It’s not exactly like they can hold regular jobs.

    So the Nuclear-Free-Vegan-Save-The-Trees Zone is now the Tree-People-Free Zone, and frankly, what a relief. Fewer feces, fewer propane tanks, fewer tree people and fewer hyphens never hurt anyone.

    According to The San Francisco Chronicle article, “The judge … agreed with lawyers for UC, who said the protesters could exercise those rights somewhere else and that the university had the right to keep people off its property.” Basically, the trespassing question is at last answered.

    We’re kind of relieved, really, that at least the battle has been won, if not the war. It’s not like we especially care that there’s this conflict around them or anything, but as we’ve said before, it’s old. How much more can we say about it? For that matter, how much longer can the whole thing last?

    Image Source: Ted Kwong, Daily Cal
    Judge orders tree-sitters at Cal to get down [SF Gate]
    Huh. [Beetle Beat]

    The treewoks are interesting people, and we think they are seeking contact with the outside world. This morning, two eyewitnesses spotted a man urinating outside Sherman Hall’s doorstep. With guitar in tow, the man nonchalantly returned to the controversial oak grove to resume oakly duties.

    There was no confrontation and nobody was hurt. No one reported property damage, though a garden hose was certainly defiled in the process.

    Upon seeing the man whizzing away, one of the eyewitnesses remarked, “What is he doing? What is going on?”

    The other replied, “That would be a man peeing on our hose.”

    One nearby resident mentioned seeing excrement in the embankment next to Memorial Stadium. “It was human poop,” she said. “I know because I saw toilet paper.” It is unclear whether this discovery is also related to the tree people.

    Though, we must admit, we’ve always wondered that age-old question of childish curiosity: how do they go to the bathroom? We may have just found our answer.