Remember back when the university mail bot spammed our inbox, urging us to care about the University of California Undergraduate Experience Survey? Luring us in with cash prizes and free iTunes, they e-mailed us furiously until we were numbed by the false hope that we’d actually win something–if only if we took 20 minutes to answer the questionnaire.

Well, we took their survey and didn’t get anything, except for a report detailing common campus knowledge. Nevertheless, we suppose having empirically-researched data to back up your gossip is like having mace in your pocket at 2 a.m. on Dwight Way. You’ll need it, eventually.

Here’s a short ‘n sweet summary of the first four parts in the five-part UCUES results’ series.

Roots & Identity: This one is a snoozefest of demographic data–we basically have a good amount of rich kids and Asians on campus. “‘To discover what kind of person I really want to be’ is a ‘very important’ college goal” for 83% of soul-searching undergraduates.

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