Is this … a teddy bear lounging in this tree? Our eyes must be deceiving us.

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So, it’s no secret that vampires are a really hot trend right now. Truth be told, the sexy vampire concept first emerged in 1994, with the film adaptation of “Interview With a Vampire,” and then the “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” franchise started in 1997. But the sexy vampire skyrocketed into fame in 2008, with the premiere of the Showtime series “True Blood,” and release of the first Twilight film. Then things really took off.

Suddenly, we’re having to pick between Team Edward and Team Jacob. We’re watching “The Vampire Diaries,” which proved that yes, vampires have issues too. We’re even watching adaptations of weird foreign films featuring vampire children (though “Let Me In” was pretty awesome). And let’s not forget that the sexy Kate Beckinsale has played a vampire in approximately half a dozen “Underworld” movies by now.

This has all been good fun. The fan girls get to scream at “Twilight” and stalk Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner obsessively, and the adults get to watch weekly HBO vampire sex (and a legitimate plot) on “True Blood.” With all the hype building up over this, the next logical step is the forthcoming blockbuster, “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.” Wait, what? read more »

teethNow, San Francisco’s Muni trains have never seemed to us to be beacons of safety, civility, law and order, but we heard a story today that unnerved us more than most.

A 32-year-old Berkeley resident suspects that a fellow Muni rider followed her off the bus and … wait for it … stole her teeth.

Elena Aronson said she was commuting to work on a Muni bus back in April when a man sitting next to her proclaimed that he wanted her teeth, read more »

spoonAfter discovering the latest omen of the world’s coming demise, the Clog encourages Berkeley students to put down their books and enjoy their short-lived time on Earth.

A group of UC researchers bravely ventured out into the Pacific … to explore a giant vortex of trash located about 1,000 miles off of the coast.

The news they brought back was not comforting, but then, when was the last time you heard good news about a plastic vortex? Or any vortex, really?

Apparently the behemoth was much larger than was previously expected. The plastic has collected there due to ocean currents, and has potentially apocalyptic implications for sea life in the area. And if you eat some tuna that’s been noming on Safeway bags all its life who knows what could happen.

Image Source: kasi metcalfe under Creative Commons
Pacific Ocean garbage patch worries researchers [AP]
Earlier: Why Direct Democracy Is an Epic Fail


It seems the campus has launched some sort of weird advertising campaign for the new Foothill Food Court scheduled to open in the fall. read more »


After discovering the latest omen of the world’s coming demise, the Clog encourages Berkeley students to put down their books and enjoy their short-lived time on earth.

While we were busy careening our necks to get a glimpse of Angel Island ablaze, Redding suffered the plague of conflagration too. Because of a squirrel.

A flaming squirrel, to be exact. It shorted out a power line, combusted and fell over into a dry patch of grass. The important thing to consider here, though, is not what we can do to protect the sanctity of our dry vegetation. Instead, as one SF Gate commenter puts it, “would this have happened if the squirrel were straight?” Ah yes, a conundrum indeed.

Image Source: law_keven under Creative Commons
Flaming squirrel blamed for small Calif. wildfire [SF Chron]
Earlier: D.A. Says: Don’t Sniff and Do Facebook

WTF is an accumulation of all the weird things going on … outside of Berkeley. You see, we’re not so weird after all.

OK, so the Daily Cal’s a little rusty with United States geography, but at least the Clog knows that France is indeed a country and that Europe, surprisingly, is not.

Too bad we can’t say the same for the other crazies and dunces. We may have exactly that (crazies and dunces) at our protests, but we sincerely hope we can avoid the hot mess in our classes at least.

Oh God. Heidi Klum manages to make us embarrassed for her. We all saw Tyra and the Vaseline. We think our point goes without saying.

Then there’s this next picture:

Blogger NancyKay Shapiro snapped this beauty in a local grocery store in NYC. Unfortunately, she was the only smart one around (or at least the only one with somewhat functioning mental capabilities). We’re surprised it’s not wrapped with bacon and shoved into an oyster shell.

But surely the Hanukkah spirit hasn’t been ruined yet, Gentiles be damned! The Clog would like to extend a “happy Hanukkah!” to you all. May your menorah stay bright … and your heads brighter.

Europe is a country and everyone speaks french here [YouTube]
Heidi Klum plays with her boobs [YouTube]
Let’s all eat trafe for Chanukah! [NancyKay Shapiro]
Earlier: WTF: From Birth to Death

WTF is an accumulation of all the weird things going on … outside of Berkeley. You see, we’re not so weird after all.

Computer program can learn baby talk: A computer program shows how babies learn to speak by decoding sounds from different languages. Previously, the story states, theories held that babies knew all the sounds from all languages of the globe. If that were true, how come the Clog babies didn’t know Afrikaans upon birth, eh? But now we know that’s not necessarily true. Next step: make babies into computers. Now that’d be cool.

But if that doesn’t work, we could always just make babies suck on lemons. And then laugh at them (apparently that’s the essence of college humor).

Can computers speak that language? We didn’t think so.

Maid jailed for serving up urine: In Hong Kong, a maid has been arrested on a charge of “administering poison or other destructive or noxious substance with intent to injure” to her employer. Is pee really that serious? If urine is so damn destructive, then why did Kevin Costner drink his own in “Waterworld”? Either way, that’s one helluva way to resign.

China busts seller of 18,000 fake Viagra pills: Fake Viagra pills? Heavens forbid we deprive the Chinese population of old-man erections! The Clog thinks this was secretly a ploy to further enforce the one-child policy. If you can’t get it up, you can’t pop more out. For shame.

Oscar the Cat Predicts Patients’ Deaths: We thought we had to worry about only black cats crossing our paths, but apparently it’s just Oscar, the kitty of death, we have to fret. Whenever Oscar shows up, people die—and it’s happened 25 times already. The nursing home thinks he can sniff out death. We think they should check into his medical history. Sounds like SARS to us.

WTF is an accumulation of all the weird things going on … outside of Berkeley. You see, we’re not so weird after all.

American Brothers Gored in Bull Run: A bull broke from the pack during the running of the bulls festival in Pamplona and injured two brothers, goring both of them in the process. One brother suffered goring in what the press likes to call “the buttocks,” and the other saw the bull pierce his leg. There are explicit pictures. We suggest you not eat while looking at them, especially if you’re feasting on kebabs.

Women demand female Pamplona bull run, with cows: Women participate in the yearly festival, but in paltry numbers, some say. And the cows are all for equal rights. Double plus for no possibility of goring. We just hope nobody cries over spilled milk.

Woman Gets Paris’ Old Cell Number And Many Calls: A UCLA student keeps getting calls meant for celebutante Paris Hilton. Most of the calls come between 2 and 4 a.m on the weekends. Must be for invitations to go picnicking, we bet.

Irish Bookie Loses on the Wrong Al Gore: A bookie paid out more than $13,500 to people who bet Al Gore would be the next American celebrity arrested. The bookie didn’t specify which Al Gore, so when A.G. III got pulled over for speeding and the police arrested him on suspicion of possessing marijuana and prescription drugs, some people were big winners (the odds were 14:1). But we all win, really. Time Magazine came out with a story titled “Al Gore’s Son: An Inconvenient Youth.” Aww yeah.

Earlier: WTF: Family Issues, from Sperm Children to Daddy Crushes

WTF is an accumulation of all the weird things going on … outside of Berkeley. You see, we’re not so weird after all.

Puerto Rico’s El Nuevo Dia features the dance of the sperm children. In English, the caption reads: “Youths dramatize in front of the Capitol personifying sperm that were painted in colors.” This photo seems to modernize the Monty Python song “Every Sperm Is Sacred.” We’re not so sure, however, it was meant to be as funny as the original–the spermies were serious in protesting against same-sex marriage.

Butts charged with stealing toilet paper: Groan. You know somewhere out there a bunch of reporters and editors are high-fiving each other over this witty headline.

Job seeker rejected due to “racist dog”: A job applicant said his dog was racist and would bite non-white people. Didn’t we see this on “Curb Your Enthusiasm”?

bq. Wanda: Did you train it to hate black people?
Larry: No, I didn’t train it to hate black people.
Wanda: Has it barked at any white people?
Cheryl: No, he’s, he’s…
Wanda: Exactly. Your dog is racist.
Larry: Sheriff’s racist?
Wanda: Sheriff? That’s a perfect name for a racist dog

Women Prefer Men Who Look Like Dad: Especially when the dad is fictional pedophile Humbert Humbert. Or if daddy read “Lolita” aloud to the woman when she was a child.

Judge Suing Dry Cleaner Cries Over Pants: Guess he doesn’t wear the pants in the courtroom now. We mean, he certainly wasn’t in control the other day:

bq. A judge had to leave the courtroom with tears running down his face Tuesday after recalling the lost pair of trousers that led to his $54 million lawsuit against a dry cleaner.

Wow. $54 million. Those pants must have been made out of diamonds.